Saturday, June 15, 2013

What Happened to the Martian Women Anyway? Female SFR Archetypes By Maybelle

[The Galaxy Express is excited to present a series of posts by a Very Special Guest. Her name is Maybelle and she's here all the way from sweet home Alabama to give us her take on archetypes in science fiction romance. This is the seventh installment of a ten part series. Maybelle's posts will go live Saturday 9 am EST).] Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

With the women in space, the first thing you’ll notice is many archetypes are abductees from Earth. This is when they ain't somebody's mom, sister, grandmom, old nanny abductress, female Robot computer machine, or ex-hussy. For whatever reason, the men of space often get a female shortage, and that's why they come after us. Plus the Traxian Seers keep sending them here, like the seed of destiny is on our little blue planet.

Maybe so, and maybe it’s because Earth girls are easy. You be the judge.

Type 1f: The Queen of the Galaxy (aka the Boss): She's not actually the King's Wife, she's his Mom, and she's either evil or misguided. You can tell she’s bad news by her tight silver power gown—women in space always wear gowns and never pants—her intricate hairstyle, her absent sense of humor, and her way of mistreating her humanoid robots when she thinks nobody's looking.

The Queen climbed her way up the royal ladder by using everybody’s heads as rungs. She works long hours to keep her son in the Kingship and she’s rich as all get out. Her husband, the King's daddy, is dead or something, probably to get away from her, so she pins all her hopes for conquest on her sons. Why she don't just take over herself I have no idea, because it’s obvious she wants to.

And is this woman ever critical! Why are you hiding in my son's bedroom? Why do you have that Venusian love potion? Who do you think you are? Is that my zhilk power gown? You'd think she'd be happy so many fertile Earthlings have an interest in her son, considering the female and baby shortages they’re always suffering. My theory is she don’t really want grandbabies and instead bathes in the blood of Earth girls or Traxian Seers or something to retain her eternal youth.

Type 2f: The King of the Galaxy's Ex-Girlfriend (aka the Seductress): Deep inside, the Ex ain't that bad, but that Traxian Busybody ruint her romance with the King. Ex had been using sex as her ladder to hopefully end up Queen of the Galaxy—Married to the King version.

Now that sex ain’t gonna work, she is super pissed. She uses sex as a bribe, as currency, as peer pressure, and as entertainment. Since she's a villainess in this particular story and apparently space people from Mars have similar Judo Christmas whateverness like Earthlings despite, you know, the galaxies of difference that could be between ‘em, Ex might get kinky with her bad self. Watch out for that, unless you're into it. Other abductees might be like “Ew, I’m straight,” but I figure, when in space, right?

Aside from sex, Ex loves nothing more than stealing the Queen's secret boyfriend, turning him into a pretzel, and getting you blamed, of all things. One fun game is to tell Ex you really fancy the spaceman you were originally assigned to so you can watch her try to seduce the big lug.

If this woman pretends to befriend you after all that, don’t forget she cannot be trusted. If she says she'll get you a reliable spaceship and help you escape, do not believe her. Not for a Galactic minute.

Next week, we’ll finally meet that most dreadful of all creatures—the Destined Mate of the King of the Galaxy, aka Cranky Pants.

About the author

Jody Wallace writes sf and fantasy romance as herself, contemporary as Ellie Marvel, and obeys the whims of Meankitty the rest of the time. Her archetype is probably the Freaky Librarian. Maybelle's archetype is open to interpretation. FMI &