Saturday, June 1, 2013

Fully Functional SFR Archetypes for the Reader and Writer By Maybelle

[The Galaxy Express is excited to present a series of posts by a Very Special Guest. Her name is Maybelle and she's here all the way from sweet home Alabama to give us her take on archetypes in science fiction romance. This is the fifth installment of a ten part series. Maybelle's posts will go live Saturday 9 am EST).] Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

To recap, the previous archetypes are: 1. King of the Galaxy (the Chief); 2. Dispossessed King of the Galaxy Who's Too Pissed and Horny to Do Anything About It Just Yet (the Bad Boy); 3. The Gruff Alien Bodyguard Assigned to the Destined Mate of the King of the Galaxy (the Best Friend); 4. The Wastrel Brother of the King of the Galaxy Who Secretly Wants to Be King (the Charmer); and 5. The Confused Grouch Who Don't Realize He's Actually King of the Galaxy But Was Hidden Away at Birth by His Alien Nanny (the Lost Soul).

Since I promised last week we’d find out if robots are built to last and can keep going and going and going, I’ll just move on to archetype number six.

Type 6m: The Humanoid Robot Belonging to the King of the Galaxy (aka the Professor): This 'bot will make you feel dumb as a bottle of peroxide. He works for the King in a tiny windowless room with a giant glowing computer that has a sexy female voice. That right there is a tipoff Robot ain’t just electronics, you know? However, Robot never sees the light of the two suns. He’s real pale and talks like a Vulcan dictionary.

The King runs all his galactic campaigns based on Robot’s advice and consults him on everything. I do mean everything. Like whether he should take that Traxian Hoodoo Woman seriously about which Earth girl is his mate. Since the King values Robot’s advice so much, well, you might want to cultivate the Robot for yourself. If, as part of your cultivatoring, you decide to find out how fully functional his creator made him, he's willing to give it a whirl. [Answer: Yes, He Is!]

Turns out Robot is one of the few archetypes besides the King who can keep his wiener in his skintight silver pants, provided you give him a commonsensical reason to do so, like how you’ll fry his nodes if he don’t. He can also do amazing things without his pants once you get him to download a bunch of them sex books into his mechanized brain.

Unfortunately, once you master the last zzrtobrrt from the Solar System Kama Sutra, Robot says taking you out on the town or buying you gifts is illogical. I guess it ain’t just Earth guys who won’t buy the caux if they got the moolk for free. Hello, after what you just did for him? He owes you a lot more than zhilk shirts, girlfriend. He owes it to you to put in a good word with the King and get you transferred from the space debris mate they stuck you back with after you had to—well, I still don’t wanna talk about the moonbase. But just try telling Robot anything. He thinks he’s sooooo smart.

Stupid Robot.

About the author

Jody Wallace writes sf and fantasy romance as herself, contemporary as Ellie Marvel, and obeys the whims of Meankitty the rest of the time. Her archetype is probably the Freaky Librarian. Maybelle's archetype is open to interpretation. FMI &