It’s a Jungle Out There

Jungle rot, sleeping sickness, leishmaniasis…these are just a few of the tropical diseases one could incur during a trek through the jungle. Chagas disease is yet another, and it’s transmitted by “blood-sucking assassin bugs.”

Did you feel that vibration just then? It was me, shuddering.

Never mind the humidity—jungles are a veritable cornucopia of creepy critters lurking in the hundreds of thousands, ready to feast upon my exposed, tender flesh. It never ceases to amaze me that so many of my fellow human beings regularly coexist with centipedes, Zodariid ground spiders, tropical fire ants, poisonous frogs, fuzzy moths, and snakes of every length and thickness.

And even with all of that paralyzing heat, you can’t even go swimming, not unless inviting a gang of piranhas to gnaw you to the bone is your idea of a swingin’ time.

I’m not knocking these species…I’m just sayin’ that making the acquaintance of slimy/slithery/scaly creatures is not very high on my list of priorities. Actually, it’s not even on my list of priorities (although I’ll watch a documentary any day of the week and squirm in the safety of my home to my heart’s content).

So Heebie Jeebie Central a.k.a. jungles are out for me, yet I’ll be the first to tell you I’m an armchair enthusiast.

So it was with much voyeuristic fun that I recently finished Katherine Allred’s CLOSE ENCOUNTERS (Eos, April 2009), virtually accompanying Genetically Engineered Person Kiera Smith on her voyage to Orpheus Two, a planet riddled with jungles where she—what’s that? Oh, I understand your confusion. Ms. Allred was kind enough to send me an ARC, you see…!

Anyhoo, Kiera is an agent for the Bureau of Alien Affairs, and it’s her job to investigate Orpheus Two, a planet in which independent trade company Dynatec has taken a suspiciously strong interest. A handful of the indigenous people are on the verge of extinction, and unless Kiera can learn the secret to reversing the process, Dynatec wins ownership of Orpheus Two. And the corporate overlords would rather win the planet sooner rather than wait for the Buri to die out, if you get my drift….

Honestly, thank goodness that there are people willing to perform this kind of dangerous work. Not just in books, but in real life, too. Scientists, humanitarians, and medical personnel are just a few of the heroes braving the treacherous tropical frontier.

Right now, we have our share of alienish creatures like binturongs and spectacled caimans, but just think of the taxonomical undertaking that would be involved if/when we discover another habitable planet. You could not pay me anything to enter a jungle here on Earth, let alone an alien nightmare of unknown proportions, but I’ll happily pay the necessary taxes so that the advance guard of explorers and scientists can wrestle with the challenge of first contact.

Instead, I’ll be sitting in my armchair, on Earth, watching the holo-vids.

Joyfully yours,

Heather

It’s a “Blue”!

It's time to get down and boogie because there's a host of happenings in the science fiction romance realm this week. New releases, space pirates, and Philip Guthrie, oh my!

A hearty congratulations goes out to Susan Grant, whose MOONSTRUCK made the Library Journal’s Best of 2008 list! Her current book, THE WARLORD’S DAUGHTER, is available now for your reading pleasure. Check out the book trailer here.

And feast your orbs on this particular unveiling: Susan Grant recently guest blogged at Harlequin’s Paranormal Romance Blog. There she revealed the name of her swashbuckling lady space pirate from her forthcoming book—Valeeya Blue! This is the third book in Grant’s Borderlands series. Check out the story:

With a brief and passionate history they wish they didn’t share, legendary pirate captains Valeeya Blue and Dake Sureblood are sworn enemies. Now the chance to prove the truth about his clan’s role in her father’s murder has Dake agreeing to work for the Triad to terminate Val’s swashbuckling ways–if she doesn’t execute him first. But as the identity of the real killer becomes apparent, the one-time nemeses start getting cozy, and soon they’re sharing more than just a spaceship.

Color me sold!

Also, the PEARL winners were announced (thanks to Linnea Sinclair for the info). The notable SFR books are as follows:

Best Futuristic Romance: DARK LIGHT by Jayne Castle (Honorable Mention: HEART FATE by Robin D. Owens)

* Best Science Fiction & Fantasy: SHADES OF DARK by Linnea Sinclair

* Honorable Mention for Time Travel Romance: TWIST by Colby Hodge

* Best New Author: Ann Aguirre

Congratulations, all!



Jess Granger’s Ethel the Space Pirate is still going strong! Check out the latest installment here. And after that, you can read an interview with the author at Cynthia Eden’s blog: Jess Granger…An Author to Watch!

Spacefreighters’ Lounge reviews Linnea Sinclair’s HOPE’S FOLLY, the third book in the Gabriel’s Ghost universe.

Here's another review of HOPE'S FOLLY courtesy of Frances Writes, who dubs the book "an excellent thriller."

And you can go buy HOPE’S FOLLY because it’s out right now!

Over at Magical Musings, Linnea Sinclair muses about Writing Cross Genre.

Fantasy Debut is starting a new feature for unpublished and self-published authors called Discovery Showcase. First up is an excerpt from Kimber An’s The Star Captain’s Daughter. If you’re an aspiring science fiction romance author, this is yet another way to get your name out there.

Fantasy and Sci-Fi Lovin’ Blog presents an interview with book cover illustrator Timothy Lantz. He conceived the art for Dru Pagliassotti’s CLOCKWORK HEART (you know, the one that deserves to be nominated for a Hugo!).

Watch your newsstand: Romantic Times BOOKreviews will include a spotlight on Katherine Allred’s CLOSE ENCOUNTERS in the April 2009 issue.

Weigh in about your thoughts on book marketing (along with yours truly) at Inside the Blogosphere: Book Marketing Favorites, hosted by the poetically named "The World in the Satin Bag."

My latest Tor.com post addresses Dear Publishers: Girls Read Comics, Too.

Mark your calendars! From March 9-14, the "Beyond Her Book" host Barbara Vey will be celebrating her two-year anniversary blogging for PUBLISHERS WEEKLY! During Anniversary Week, there will be all kinds of festivities, from author, publisher, and agent appearances to giveaways.

The Galaxy Express will dock at there on March 9 and 14, so drop by and comment those days for a chance to win some science fiction romance swag!

And lastly...stay glued to this blog because I’ll be making a Very Special Announcement here quite soon!

Don’t you just love a good tease?!

Joyfully yours,

Heather

Mr. Hugo, For Your Consideration: CLOCKWORK HEART

There are so many great books—and yet so few awards.

While I’m all for the voters nominating every science fiction romance book that came out in 2008 for the Hugo Award, I must consider a more realistic perspective. There’s a difference between a book that’s great, and a great book that combines elements in such a way that it actually has a shot at being nominated for such a prestigious distinction.

Dru Pagliassotti’s CLOCKWORK HEART is one such book.

This whole literary shebang reminds me of the Oscars, where comedic brilliance in films, SF/F adventures, or commercial films with boffo box office hauls routinely gets bumped for intellectual art house fare (hello, FROST/NIXON & THE READER, sayonara to THE DARK KNIGHT & IRON MAN). It’s a crying shame, yes, but occasionally a film will do an end run around the whole process, with refreshing results (LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING).

Science fiction romance—it could be a contender.

To wit, Mary Fitzpatrick of Flying Whale Productions expressed some intriguing words in her recent review of CLOCKWORK HEART:

“I think the strength of this book is it’s straddling half a dozen genre[s]. It is a prime example of literary hybrid vigor. Unfortunately that may also scare strict genre readers away, and it makes the book hard to market. It will probably keep the book from both the sales, and award nominations it so richly deserves. I read all the Hugo nominees for 2008, and I like several of them very well, but when it comes to texture, storytelling and originality Clockwork Heart blows them all out of the water.

“This book deserves a nomination for the 2009 Hugos.”

Is CLOCKWORK HEART a long shot? Could be, but so was Cinderella, if you asked her Evil Stepmother the wrong people.

Mary adds that: “The plot twists and turns enough to keep any reader guessing what will happen next, and the end, although not a big pink spun-sugar bow, is satisfying enough for a Romance fan looking for a HEA.”

So please, Mr. Hugo, strongly consider a book that, because of its steampunk and romance elements, qualifies it for many as a science fiction romance. What a great opportunity this would be to acknowledge what romance has done and is doing for science fiction: the emotional investment quotient. (And I’m sure previous Hugo winner Lois McMaster Bujold wouldn’t mind the company).

But don’t just consider sending this novel an invitation to the ball because of that. There’s also marscapone icing on the cake because CLOCKWORK HEART is penned by a woman (for a full list of “works by women eligible for 2009 SF awards,” click here).

Thanks, Mr. Hugo! I knew you’d understand.

And for my progressive passengers, if you’re eligible to vote, there’s not much time left! The online ballot is here.

Joyfully yours,

Heather

COSMIC IDOL III: The Final Conflict

And welcome back to the final installment of COSSSSSMICCCC IDDDDDDOLLLL!

Smirking his way up on stage right now, Captain James Tiberius Kirk gladly accepts his award for his stunning vocals. Of course, you may think he had the deck stacked in his favor—and you’d be absolutely right! We are talking about the only person to conquer the Kobayashi Maru.

For tonight’s epic line up, we’ve saved the best for last.

Flying in from Mumbai, let’s hear a ferocious COSMIC IDOL welcome for…Indian Superman and Spiderwoman!

What villain could possibly stand up to their combined might—or their seductive dance moves? (Cinema scuttlebutt says this may have been a deleted scene from SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, but I have my doubts. I mean really…how could anyone possibly cut this??)

Whallopin’ Websnappers! What a performance!

Next up, we have Jan Terri and her out-of-this-world smash hit, “Journey to Mars!” See! Jan and pals take the train! Gasp! At a slew of mid-nineties screensavers and PC game cut-scenes (hey wait, isn’t that BABYLON 5?)! And point! As they…board the train again!



What can I add? Arriving at Chicago O’Hare was never so much fun!

Our next entry doesn’t have anything to do with SF, but I simply could not overlook this grandiloquent plunge into romantic fantasy. Every romance cliché you’ve ever read, dreamed, or thought of suffuses every millimeter of this mini-LOTR epic.

If you’ve ever longed for Elric of Melniboné to take the mic, your day of wonder has arrived. Elric’s long-lost, twice-removed cousin’s pool guy leads his newfound lady love before many greenscreens...when three witches attack! The situation grows dire as Dr. Doom shuns his kingdom of Latveria (along with his Marvel copyright) and then…uh, something about a sailing ship, dragons, frost queens, alligators(?), and MATRIX-trained dominatrixes—all set against the Revolutionary War taking place in Narnia. (Okay, I watched this thing five times. Let’s hear it if you can crack its cryptic plot.)



But who am I to suggest a little clarity? This stormbringer doesn’t need story structure. He’s too busy leaping off cliffs, swashbuckling on schooners, and taming those angry snow ‘gators. Tally ho!

Finally, we arrive at an entry that’s just so overflowing with awesomeness, mere words cannot hope to convey its galactic resplendency.

Let’s just say that if you’ve ever wondered what might happen if the DNA of ABBA collided with a space station varsity cheer squad–all while being choreographed by a Swedish Stevie Wonder—well, here’s your answer. (And really, who hasn’t lost sleep mulling over that very scenario from time to time?)

Ladies and muck-encrusted, shambling mockery of men…please give your most heartfelt, non-pretender welcome to Armi & Danny!



Ah, Swedish calisthenics in space have never been the same since…!

And so there you have it. Flood the comments and light up the phone lines now; multi-appendage operators are standing by to take your vote.

Until next time, throw me the whip and the...COSMIC IDOLLLLLLLLL!

Vocally Yours,

Heather

COSMIC IDOL II: The Wrath of the STAR TREK Edition

And welcome back to another exciting edition of…COSMIC IDOOOLLLLL!

Let’s hear a big, big galactic congratulations for Cüneyt Arkin and his incredible Exploding Rock Orchestra! Way to go, Cüneyt!

And now…prepare to witness a truly incredible performer. Alien green women everywhere shriek whenever he takes the stage. Busty yeoman in tight red uniforms all despise "love" his sexual harassment.

Yes, that’s right! Ladies and gentle monopods with slightly gelatinous membranes, please welcome the one and only…Captain James T. Kirk!

Wasn’t that…unique!

And, if you listen very closely, you may actually hear Sinatra attempting to claw his way up from the grave every time this peerless performance plays.

But wait! Who is this exotic male specimen joining our competition? Why, it’s none other than that swinging cat, Mr. Spock!

Our favorite first officer makes the only logical decision and strikes back with his Vulcan voice, singing what appears to be cribbed dust jacket copy from THE HOBBIT.

Let's give a rousing "live love and prosper" salute to...Mr. Spock!



Imagine if he continued doing this with other books:

Well, Jane was girl with an at-ti-tude/
She didn’t like her school that was un-der-stood

Then one day she ran into a man
He needed a governess so she formed a plan…

We call her Jane! Jane…Eyre!
She’s all about conviction and that’s on~ly fair!

Captain, sensors are detecting an excellent marketing opportunity in Quadrant Four!

But Kirk rebounds—with a lit ciggie no less!—to mumble croon his way through an Elton John standard. (Prepare thyself for an out-of-body experience halfway through this—and I mean that literally.)

I think…you’ll ha---ve to agree. His staccato style…reallybringsoutthebest…of…this…song!



So gentle, mostly carbon-based beings, now is your time to enact the power you have and vote! Which one of these mind-blowing, star-shattering, universe-engulfing performances will keep you up all night breaking your furniture?

Hit me up in the comments and we’ll see who reigns supreme on the next edition of COOOOoooOOsmic IDOLLLLLLLL!

Lyrically yours,

Heather