Saturday, May 18, 2013

Next In Line to the King: More SFR Archetypes By Maybelle

[The Galaxy Express is excited to present a series of posts by a Very Special Guest. Her name is Maybelle and she's here all the way from sweet home Alabama to give us her take on archetypes in science fiction romance. This is the third installment of a ten part series. Maybelle's posts will go live Saturday 9 am EST).] Part I Part II

Last time, I told you about the King of the Galaxy. Remember? The one dead set on having that cranky Earth girl as his destined mate? He’s closest to the “chief” in normal archetypal terms (from: The Complete Writer’s Guide to Heroes and Heroines). Since there can be only one King, according to that busybody Traxian Seer, what other types of Martian guys can a kidnapped Earth girl hook up with?

TYPE 2m: The Dispossessed King of the Galaxy Who's Too Pissed and Horny to Do Anything About It Just Yet (aka the Bad Boy): Dispo needs a haircut and a shave, and he’s probably done some time on the prison planet Moltar. Wears a lot of leather, which I reckon he has imported from Earth cows, I dunno, unless there’s some cowlike animal on Moltar called a caux or a coo or a troihuihxga he done killed with his own knife and skinned and made himself a jacket, which he wears to remind him of being in prison and all the people he wants to beat up because of it.

The trick to understanding Dispo is that he cops this attitude because it gets him more cooter. Also, his attitude riles the King, whom Dispo hates with a red hot passion because Kingie kicked him off the throne, repo’d his space ship and probably sent him to Moltar. But hey, he got a nice jacket out of it.

You can’t trust Dispo around your girlfriends, especially not if he swears up and down he loves only you. When this guy ticks off the Ursa Major Police Force, he don’t care cuz he’s always got some ole gal dumb enough to come break him off Moltar. He don’t even give her a jacket for her trouble.

Use Dispo for sex when the spaceman you were given to after the kidnapping goes off to war, but wear about three layers of Venusian body condoms. Whatever you do, don't try to convince him he should go for the throne again because then he won't be nearly as horny. What fun is that?

Type 3m: The Gruff Alien Bodyguard Assigned to the Destined Mate of the King of the Galaxy (aka the Best Friend): This guy, BG, never dates and he’s funky looking, like actual alien instead of human with gold skin. He starts out like he don't care about you since he’s secretly in love with the destined mate of the King. After a while, he sees your inner Earthling hotness, I mean, goodness and helps you escape from your assigned space mate or some perverted masher or whoever else you claim is after you.

You can eventually talk him round to sneaking you into the King’s bedroom when Kingie-poo thinks he’s meeting his destined mate there. BG’s loyal to the throne. Just tell him your mission is to save the King, and don’t mention you’re saving the King from a boring sex life with Cranky Girl. If the King’s mother finds you in the bedroom first, BG might even help you come up with a decent excuse to be there.

One word of caution. If you get drunk on Talaxian ale after your crushing disappointment in the King’s bedroom and give BG some skin, he’ll transfer his crush to you. You gotta be sure you want that because he may turn into a stalker when you dump him. All your abductee friends will be mad at you for hurting the poor, sweet alien. Not that they’d go out with him. I mean, green tentacles, and not in the fun places.

See you next time, when we’ll meet the Charmer and the Lost Soul. 

About the author

Jody Wallace writes sf and fantasy romance as herself, contemporary as Ellie Marvel, and obeys the whims of Meankitty the rest of the time. Her archetype is probably the Freaky Librarian. Maybelle's archetype is open to interpretation. FMI &